i thought i saw a cool sticker on my office window, then i realized it was getting bigger and bigger
My wife (or husband) told me to get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store. I had just realized when I got home that I had picked 7-up
You were sad because your grandmother died. The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing
small word of advice:Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love cuz they may be gone by then, you don't realize but every second there is someone who dies and it just could be your loved one.
a lumberjack goes to a person ́s house then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf
so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car
How to get rid of your depression: 1. Stop self pittying 2. Realize you can't 3. Fucking deal with it Your welcome
orphan- am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there
orphan-realizes
guess what song this is from:
I'LL CUT YOU INTO LITTLE BITTY PIECES
OR FREEZE YOU TILL YOUR BLOOD RUNS COLD
OR STAB YOUR TIL' YOU HEART STOPS PUMPING
I'M HERE TO REALIZE YOUR WISH FROM WHAT I'M TOLD
A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home. She realizes she's pregnant, and has a baby boy.
The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.
The third year, she's feelling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father1"
Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7Up.
Banker: I have the right to take your money! Me: Check my name Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: realizes Me:😈🖐️ gimme gimme
You go up to a bar and say hi he doesn’t look at you you keep saying hi he says what then you realize that he is the one that u stole his lady from but then he doesn’t give you any drink you say why he screams at you and then says YOUR FIVE
As an honest Penaldo fan I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona. I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl
Don't you hate it when you do the dishes but then you realized it wasn't the dishes.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
one day i walk up to a emo kid i realized he had a fresh cut so i grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him i like ya cuts g
