Read jokes
I just bought a book about lamps...
So I can do some light reading over the weekend.
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
370HSSV 0773H wait, you're reading it upside down.
Read the comments.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
OK, guys, quick update, what is going on with Freshfry, Drew, and Alya?
All they're doing is fighting, and I want to put an end to it. So Freshfry, Drew, and Alya all need to read this, OK. First, Freshfry, you should've just said OK the first thing he said, and Drew... really? You had to keep egging him on. I don't know about Alya, but it's like cats and dogs fighting. Just please stop fighting :(
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
Why do the orphans keep going back to the orphan home?
Because they got no home to go to, yeah, please like this and laugh because I got no one to read this.
What's handsome and smart, you can hear him and see him? It's you good-looking guys! So sad you can't read this since you're blind. Oh geez, I just found this website and I want to make people laugh. Too bad they can't see the joke.
I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.
I apologize for my grammar.
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
Wow, I can't believe you'd take the time to read this!
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
We don't read backwards.
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.