Read Jokes

I guy entered to a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching crossed the books and the librarian asked him. Librarian..... what are you looking for ? Man ....I am looking for a book!! Librarian... Which book ?? Man ...... FACEBOOK.

What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?

Pony-tails

if u text ur crush and they leave u on read, just know that read has four letters. yk what also has four letters? mine. so that basically means that you are theirs. :)

i threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters, the teacher was upset, i guess they dont read the news

“If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner” Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?

to do list

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.

'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.

And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'

To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'

To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'

In kindergarten we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words. Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit"

I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!

best friend *hold a sign up that says "what gender are you"* Me:uh male?.. best frend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"* Me: you silly goose *silence for like three sec* Me:still male though-

I read a quote about the twin towers that hit me like a plane

I picked up a document and I started to feel cold. I looked down at the document and it read DRAFT.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website, when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised. Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.