Read jokes

I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!

One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*

Me: Uh, male?..

Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*

Me: You silly goose.

*Silence for like three seconds*

Me: Still male though-

Read my name. 👍🇮🇪

What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?

"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."

I read to deaf kids in my spare time.

Why do orphans read BL or GL?

Cause they get to see what it’s like with a mummy or daddy.

What kind of book does cheese read at a church?

The Hole-y Bible.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......

Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga

YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!

Make him read a book.

How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?

He read the weather forecast.

Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.

What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?

Reading her rights!

The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.

Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).