Who am I?
If you are what you eat Why is Jeffrey Dahmer white
When are you from Delaware? You know!!! š¦
I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"
Teacher, there is 3 birds 1 gets shot how many are left.
Student, non they flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, acautly 2 but i like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there is 3 women eating ice cream 1 licking it 1 drinking it melted and 1 sucking it which one is married.
Teacher,the one sucking it?
Student, no the one with the ring but i like the way you think.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go!
If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder), will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian?
That was my brain teaser for you guys! Make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Girl: Wanna come over to my house?
Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.
Question : Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Answer : Tequila
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn
Q: What is 9 + 11 A: 9/11
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
