Pussy Jokes

What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?

The pussies are limited edition.

What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!

Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.

If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.

What do you do when your cat's not home?

Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.

I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.

Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."

"Your pussy is sweeter than Mom's," Brother admired his sister.

"I know," replied Sister. "Father told me too."

If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?

There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

What did the cat say when he got mad?

I'm hissed!

Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.

Asian pregnancy test:

Stick a Rubix cube into pussy.

Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.

One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

What do you call a girl furry?

A pussy cat.

Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?

A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

What’s the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.

Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.