Bad Hitler puns are infuhreriating.
i got banana nut bread for you
oh no the nuts are missing
oh i found them
you know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!
what's the difference between a car and a car i have absolutely no idea sorry
What do you call a piece of paper? A piece of paper
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child*
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities.
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors ,witch door should you pick. The seventh door
“What time is it?”
“Daytime.”
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend .
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes
What kind of music do wind turbines like ? They are big , heavy metal fans !
My wife told me I could never ever build a car out of spaghetti , you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta
why are emo jokes so infamous? because they cut deep
Blue: The ocean is place where the creatures live Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE Blue:it has many pretty things and it will- Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on titanic! so let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
If your sister steps on your toe . You will call it ?
what flour do orphan's use?
self raising flour
I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
What do you call a house with dog hair? A shed
