Puns
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."
"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
Jokes about menstruation are never funny, period!
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
Stand in the corner.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
Where do T. Rexes shop? Dino-stores.
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
Butter believe it.
Yesterday I was in a wind storm.
Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol