Puns
What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.
President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.
Oh well, that's politics.
What’s a booty’s favorite game?
Hide and cheek.
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
What do you call a shoe made by George Floyd?
The Breath Takers.
Why do asscheeks make great friends?
They always stick together!
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.