Puns
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
A pun walked into a room and killed ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bartender here?"
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."
What did the beaver say to his son?
Dam, son.
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.