I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."
Puns
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because its uncles were all aunts!
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
IBC.
IBC who?
I'll be seeing you later.
What has 4 legs and two gloves?
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there? Control Freak. Con... OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
