What was the computer's best pickup line? Nice bits
I would tell jokes about Kobe but they would just crash and burn
A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
Three men walk into a bar.. you would have thought the last one would have ducked
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere
What country do French Fries come from? Grease.
Can a match box? No but a tin can.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
What did the two paintings say after a long battle? Lets call this one a draw
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"
"Because I was Russian!"
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
Who’s the roundest night at king arthurs round table?
Circumference