Snail

One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"

  • 4
  • Ion

    Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

    Pencil

    Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!

  • 0
  • Emo

    I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.

  • 5
  • Hole

    Does your shoe have a hole in it?

    No.

    Then how did you put your foot in it?

    Friend

    There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

  • 0
  • Match

    Hey God, what are you making?

    Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.

    Sounds like a match made in heaven.

  • 2
  • Pig

    Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?

    Because he kept on running out of the pen.

    Butter

    I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.

  • 0
  • Bus Driver

    Today was a bad day. First, my ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.

    Precipitation

    What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?

    Hail, of course!

    What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?

    Reign!

    Piece

    I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

    P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

    Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

    “They are all very tearable,” he replied.

    Well, there is one person who gets it!