My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.
He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he wrist in peach.
What do you call a duck on drugs A quackhead.
Why does Sans like puns so much, probably because he finds them humourus
My bank loves me.
They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said "I'm a frayed knot
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
What did the cow say to the sheep? “Moo!” What did the sheep say to the cow “That was a bad joke!”
Why is 6 afraid of 7? -- Because 7 8 9.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
At first, I didn't like Big Ben-- but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable
U R ALL GOING TO BE PUN-ISHED
I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!
i was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit to EAR-itating
What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette
What does Stephen Hawkins say after sex? That was wheely good
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
