Bathroom

Youโ€™re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?

European.

Pasta

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.

Airplane

Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?

The first airplane.

  • 1
  • Sleep

    Why was the man running around his bed?

    Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!

    Skeleton

    What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?

    Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. ๐Ÿ˜

  • 6
  • Stake

    A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...

    Mitosis

    What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!

  • 2
  • Helium

    I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

    Artist

    There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.

    Time Machine

    I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.