Wanna know how i got away from Iraq?? Iran.
I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun." Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?" Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?" Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna." Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?" Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
Donald trump, "I play fortnite just to build walls"
My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir"
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
Wich bees produce milk?
Boobies
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
How do trees calculate square roots. They use log-arithms.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics They only come out for the Booz
Whats Gru's favourite Beyoncé lyric. Who run the world ... Gorls.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow women?
-Snow balls
Why did the pen stop writing? CAUSE THE PEN WASNT VERY DEPENDABLE
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
Today was a bad day, their was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy
