Puns

Why was the chef embarrassed?

He saw the salad dressing.

That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What did the bull say to the bullfighter?

What's the "matador?"

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."

So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"

Why can't you buy an iPhone X?

It's too expensive.

My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.

New Orleans cuisine has always been my favorite; however, I only eat gumbo on oc-cajun.

Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.

How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.

Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.

Seven ate nine.

What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?

DUH! A sticker.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.

I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.