I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts
One day leaf asks mom, “mom, why am I named leaf?” Mom says “because when you were a baby a leaf fell on your head.” The next day feather asks mom “ mommy, why am I named feather?” Mom says “ when your were a baby a feather fell on your head.” The next day brick asks mom “rhsisvrkanx” mom says, shut up brick!
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood
I want a job cleaning mirrors, I could really see myself doing it 🤨
Why do tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.
Me and my receding hairline? Believe me, we go way back
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning :3
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? -- She was fed up with the hole business.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
What is the cheapest kind of meat?
Deer Balls, two for under a Buck!
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
i love telling dad jokes,he always laughs
why are emo jokes so infamous? because they cut deep
what flour do orphan's use?
self raising flour
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
A list of sansnpuns would be sans tastic
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
What do you do with a dead scientist
You barium
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."
Velcro is such a rip-off