What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. -- But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. -- I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
Wanna hear a terrible Joke?
Paper
Pretty tear-able, huh?
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
Two men walk into a bar you’d think the second one would’ve seen it
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I canteloupe.
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
What does a house wear? a-dress
I wanted to tell an animal joke but its irrelephant
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account prime mates
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
What's Thanos' favorite game? Half-life
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
