What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
What happens when a clock is hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
Fishermen are the best at networking.
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
I heard a joke about candy bars, but it wasn't very funny, so I just snickered.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?
So that he could design his own “website.”
