What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
Puns
What happens when a clock is hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
Fishermen are the best at networking.
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
I heard a joke about candy bars, but it wasn't very funny, so I just snickered.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
