Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?

He did not have the guts!

I really hate waiting to die… Its taking a lifetime

i told my mum the refrigerator was running so she got dressed and ran after it…

Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, But bigger ones need a crane.

What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? Smiles because there is a mile between the first letter and the last

If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?

Two men walk into a bar you’d think the second one would’ve seen it

They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt-quack.

You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?

What did the lungs say to the cigar?? ‘You take my breath away…’

Did you hear about the guys who’s whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he’s all right now.

Why is six afraid of seven?

Seven is a registered six-offender

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

I’ve just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted

Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”

What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late??

A cold shoulder

Can I branch out to some tree puns. Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on