I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did
Puns
What happens when a clock is hungry It goes back four seconds.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
Why don’t phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.
I was going to make a chemistry joke… But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
You know, Ebay sucks. I was looking for a lighter and it gave me 18,906 matches
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
I heard a joke about candybars, but it wasn’t very funny so I just SNICKERed
One day I came home from school and said to my dad ‘I got expelled from school today’ he said ’ how’ I said I threw my book at the teacher’ he asked why’ I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can’t hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. ’
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
what did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.
What does a house wear? a-dress
when i ask my dad did i get adopted he said not yet no one wants you
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.