Puns
What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
What happens when a clock is hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
Fishermen are the best at networking.
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
I heard a joke about candy bars, but it wasn't very funny, so I just snickered.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.