My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
Is it just me or are magnets really attractive?
I heard a joke about candybars, but it wasn't very funny so I just SNICKERed
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending.
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
What kind of music do wind turbines like ? They are big , heavy metal fans !
You know, Ebay sucks. I was looking for a lighter and it gave me 18,906 matches
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Why do cows wear bells? -- Because their horns don't work.
why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
it was 2 tired
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
What happens when a clock is hungry It goes back four seconds.
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
A man walks into a zoo, the only animal was a dog.
It was a shitzu
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
Why aren’t apple chargers called apple juice. Also How do u throw away trash cans?
Butter believe it
