Puns

Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.

I don't have luck with other angels.

So I just WING IT!

Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.

What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.

*Shrek* Bend ogre.

I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."

What's Thanos' favorite game?

Half-life.

What kind of music do wind turbines like?

They are big, heavy metal fans!

I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!

One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!

No, I don't want to.

#1: What are you doing?

#2: Watching a movie.

#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.

Get confused with Confucius!

"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?

Beth-la-ham

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.

I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.

Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”