Puns

What do you call a white bucket?

A pail.

Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?

'Cause he wanted higher grades.

Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)

Bruh, don't be punny.

I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!

Are you a banana...

because I find you a-peeling!

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

Jokes about menstruation are never funny, period!

I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.

I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.

I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.

I used to work at a T-shirt factory before the company folded.

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.

I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.

Yesterday I was in a wind storm.

Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.

Dirty bastards.

If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?

He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

I took a bite of my lunch. “Is that a sand witch?!”