Puns
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer!
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
Want to hear a pun?
Well, I'll punch you with one!
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.
So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
Why do bees have sticky hair? They always use honeycombs.
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.