Puns
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
My wife still misses me... But her aim is getting better!
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus!
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Hair.
Hair who?
Hairhairhairhairhairhair!
This is an a-maze-ing joke!
My brother puts his butt in his face and says, "Kyle, you're cracking me up!"
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears!
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.