Puns
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
5+2 = 7
But 4+3 also = 7
So take your own path.
Don't touch my bot.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
Last night I had a dream of lead, but your mom won't let me tell you.
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
When the Mexican wanted to go shopping,
he went to Ja-mall.
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
You: What you doing?
I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!
So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!