Puns

A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.

Two men walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would've seen it.

Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?

They only come out for the boos.

What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The location of the Dirtbag.

Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!

I'd tell a science joke, but I was like, "Nah, it would get no reaction."

I have the funniest joke ever, here it is...

Your face!

I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.

If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?

I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

When does it rain money?

When there's a change in the weather.

Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.

What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You're under a vest.

What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?

A pan-duh.

I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).

My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.

Hi, I'm a skeleton and I know a skele-TON of jokes!

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.