Puns
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
Mooning is very astrological!
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.
When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.
What is a "dad?"
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
Ya nan!
What is the difference between Dray Dray and an overrated footballer called Pogba?
French fries don't come from France; they come from Greece.
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.