Puns
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.
When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.
What is a "dad?"
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
Ya nan!
What is the difference between Dray Dray and an overrated footballer called Pogba?
French fries don't come from France; they come from Greece.
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.
So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
To the people who have seen "Meet The Fockers" at the movies and they hated it, Fock You, Motherfockers!
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!