Puns
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
What did the basketball say to the Frisbee... "No balls."
What's white and rhymes with Dre? Eminem.
What's the most horrifying video in the world?
Logan Paul vlogs.
I wanted to get brain surgery.
I changed my mind.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!
Black dog is gay.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed? High steaks gambling.
A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.
Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
How are urinals made?
They get installed.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?