Puns
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
I have some jokes about popcorn.
Nah, they're too corny.
Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"
What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
Yeah, not too bad at all, really.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
Dracula was invited to a BBQ. He got stake.
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.