Puns

Two antennas met on a roof and got married.

The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.

John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.

How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?

Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?

The no-bell prize.

How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?

Skelesore.

"Wanna hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."

"That was pretty DAD!"

Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?

I hear they got six months each.

If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?

Sir, I mustache you a question...

Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.

"Puta, banana in your ear!"

I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.

So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."

And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"

I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"

What was the epileptic chef’s house special?

Seizure salad.

Gaston gets the no-Belle prize! :D