Puns

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"

I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"

What was the epileptic chef’s house special?

Seizure salad.

Gaston gets the no-Belle prize! :D

I was eating my cereal while watching the news, then I saw my cereal on the news, saying he was a "serial" killer.

I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.

I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"

The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.

What did the plug hole say to the plug? "We are so in sync."

I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.

Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.

Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.

I got shot once. Now I'm holey.

There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.

Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?

They’re just two weeks to quit.

I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.

The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.

Cao ni man sha bi lalla shabi.

- Hey, are you single?

- No, I'm album.

Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.