Puns
Laugh.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
Josh
Need an arch? I Noah guy.
My dick itches.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get the Chinese Daily!
Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!
What do you call a girl that likes reading? Page.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.
No, I don't want to.
What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
Yeet.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
What do you call high Mexicans?
Baked beans ;)
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.
I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.