Puns

A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He went to his brother, who was playing with a Superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered "SUPERMAN!!!". Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said, "in the Barbie Dream House!" Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said, "Olé Olé Olé!!!". The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!", the teacher boomed. "Superman", the boy replied. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!", the teacher continued. "In the Barbie Dream House" "GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!" "OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!", the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"

During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!

So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"

Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.

I don't like these Undertale jokes. They just don't make any sense.

How do you eat a meat?

You steak it in your mouth.

I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"

Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?

A: Because they were a racquet!

My grades.

I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂

Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.

- Dude, what is your favorite rapper?

- He is very cold-blooded.

- Why?

- He is Ice Cube.

I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.

How do you fix an igloo?

With Iglue.

My parents love me.

Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?

That's okay. There is really no point to it.