Punishment jokes
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I missed a few days.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
Why do pedophiles never win a race? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.