What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
