What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
Punishment Jokes
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Not done yet.
Now they are.
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I missed a few days.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
