My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
Punishment Jokes
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.
It got too out of hand and I got spanked.
One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
