Punishment jokes
Why can’t you yell at a kid?
Because the cops are after you.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?
A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?
Dad: He had a nap.
Kid: Where is he now?
Dad: HELL!
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo, so I gave them a halo.
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."
But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.