Profession jokes
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
Hi đź‘‹! I love đź’• you! Ooooooo!
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?
A LYRICAL COOK!
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Spice
Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?
Because they want to call someone "daddy."
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
Why do people always tell actors to break a leg?
Because every play has a cast.
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Break his pipes...
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
What do you call a black astronaut? A black astronaut, you racist.
Knock knock! Who's there? Stripper. Stripper who? Stripper down!
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We are both lawyers.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!