Profession Jokes

As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!

What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits.

Hi 👋! I love 💕 you! Ooooooo!

What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?

A LYRICAL COOK!

"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"

The image shows a grid of six images. Each is labelled with a job description: Good Job, Bad Job, Fun Job, Boring Job, and Outside Job. A doctor is shown for “Good Job”, a garbage man for “Bad Job”, a clown for “Fun Job”, a woman sitting at a desk for “Boring Job”, a gardener for “Outside Job”, and finally a photo of the 9/11 attack is shown for the last row with the label missing.

Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?

Because they want to call someone "daddy."

There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.

Why do people always tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast.

There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:

"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."

Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"

The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"

Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?

What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

How do you make a plumber cry?

Break his pipes...

There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"