Problem jokes
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.
So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."
The emo was having computer problems because they had troubleshooting.
Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶
Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵
Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵
Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?
"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"
"CoComelon meme,
No matter how fast I run, I can't escape my problems - OULEH...
Nobody loves me .v."
Girls are like math, if they're under 10, use your fingers.
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.