Prison jokes

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

What do you call a Mexican's prison?

The border.

What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?

Prison FC

What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

I just got a job at the prison library.

It has its prose and cons.

Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.

That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.

Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.

The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"

"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.

But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!

The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"

I said, "Sexy."

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.

What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?

If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.

In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.

In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.

Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.

Where did Hitler send kids with ADHD?

Concentration camp.

Why did the picture go to jail?

Cause it was framed!

The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.

What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.

Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?

He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.

What kind of star would go to jail?

A shooting star!