I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.
In 2016, Americans took "Orange is the New Black" to a whole other level.
when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
Why did orphans want to commit a crime?
Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
