New Prison Jokes

Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.

The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.

So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.

I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.

Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.

...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.

Why did the DJ go to jail?

Because he dropped the BASS too hard

My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.

You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.

if being sexy were a crime you better lock me up. not because I'm sexy but because I have 5 dead children in my basement

Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.

But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

Roses are red, potato chips are savory...

The United States prison system is legalized slavery.

Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?

Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.

I went to jail because i gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days

(i deleted mother's day and father's day)

I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:

1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails

I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.

Unless you are in prison.

Why did the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was a gay male 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged did not say anything to a group of gay white men that were not physically challenged after they called him a size queen after the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged was done taking turns giving them a blowjob and was done taking turns swallowing their sweet cum? 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 Because it was the best meal that he ever had since he has been in prison for 30 years 🇺🇸 🇵🇷