Prison jokes
Did you hear about the bank robber?
Turns out he got shot by the police.
And he wound up in prison.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
Why did the orphan go to jail? Because he could finally have a home.
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.
Why did the person go to jail? He committed a crime.
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
Why did the DJ go to jail?
Because he dropped the bass too hard!
Why did the prisoner run away?
To spit bars.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
What do you call the Gray Man in an electric chair? Fried Fish.
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
Who was most surprised by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide?
Jeffrey Epstein.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.