Prison jokes
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?
(Doesn't have boss bar.)
I'd hit you, but if I did, I'd go to jail for animal abuse.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
What do you call the Gray Man in an electric chair? Fried Fish.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
Which word is also called for women's prison?
"Pridaughter."
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
POV: You go to Asian prison.
You get served extra rice.
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
Why can't orphans ever be criminals?
He is not wanted.
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
Who was most surprised by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide?
Jeffrey Epstein.
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...