Prison Jokes

so you wanna play like that ayy, well sydney dident wanna play like that either. and thats why you got arrested

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said; “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

You hear about rapboats time in prison? He kept droppin the soap on purpose

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack

What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named brandon

What do you call a pillow that been on the bed for 20 years in jail A criminal 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.

Why did the person go to jail?

He committed a crime.

Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.

That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.

I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene. He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison? He's a small medium at large.

I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution but, when I got there they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you Penaldo!

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions ..you must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate and you must never hold on to any beef . " The Angel then disappeared. The man did as was told and became generous and kind ..as he emerged from the betting office with all his money... he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person..each and everytime. He ,however couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what . When he died the Angel came back for him .. "But I'm undeserving I can't come with you" he said .. "Yes you can" replied the Angel , "you gave all your stake ( steak) away"

The kid with a gun walked into my class room and fucking shot the teacher. He pointed the gun at me and asked,

"What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey at least he gets free food.

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.