Prison jokes
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?
(Doesn't have boss bar.)
I'd hit you, but if I did, I'd go to jail for animal abuse.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
What do you call the Gray Man in an electric chair? Fried Fish.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
Which word is also called for women's prison?
"Pridaughter."
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
POV: You go to Asian prison.
You get served extra rice.
Who was most surprised by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide?
Jeffrey Epstein.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
Why can't orphans ever be criminals?
He is not wanted.