Incarceration jokes
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
The white guy actually did it.
In 2016, Americans took "Orange is the New Black" to a whole other level.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.
So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.