Incarceration jokes
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."
Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?
He's a small medium at large.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."