Prison jokes

What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?

"Bale me out!"

In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.

Age is just a number,

Jail is just a room.

I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?

My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.

How do you escape a French prison?

Yell angrily in German!

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.

Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.

What's a convict's favorite chore?

Weeding.

I just got a job at the prison library.

It has its prose and cons.

Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.

Things you never want to do in jail:

- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.

What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.

So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.

What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.

Why did the guitarist go to prison?

'Cause he fingered A minor.

A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.

I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.

The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"

I said, "Sexy."

Why did the picture go to jail?

Cause it was framed!