Prison jokes

How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.

This website is cruel and is NOT funny.

Chocolate rain. Some stay dry and others feel the pain. Chocolate rain. A baby born will die before the sin. Chocolate rain. The school books say it can't be here again. Chocolate rain. The prisons make you wonder where it went. Chocolate rain. Build a tent and say the world is dry. Chocolate rain. Zoom the camera out and see the lie. Chocolate rain. Forecast to be falling yesterday. Chocolate rain. Only in the past is what they say. Chocolate rain. Raised your neighborhood insurance rates. Chocolate rain. Makes us happy 'livin in a gate. Chocolate rain. Made me cross the street the other day. Chocolate rain. Made you turn your head the other way. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. Seldom mentioned on the radio. Chocolate rain. It's the fear your leaders call control. Chocolate rain. Worse than swearing worse than calling names. Chocolate rain. Say it publicly and you're insane. Chocolate rain. No one wants to hear about it now. Chocolate rain. Wish real hard it goes away somehow. Chocolate rain. Makes the best of friends begin to fight. Chocolate rain. But did they know each other in the light? Chocolate rain. Every February washed away. Chocolate rain. Stays behind as colors celebrate. Chocolate rain. The same crime has a higher price to pay. Chocolate rain. The judge and jury swear it's not the face. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. Dirty secrets of economy. Chocolate rain. Turns that body into GDP. Chocolate rain. The bell curve blames the baby's DNA. Chocolate rain. But test scores are how much the parents make. Chocolate rain. Flippin' cars in France the other night. Chocolate rain. Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai. Chocolate rain. 'Cross the world and back it's all the same. Chocolate rain. Angels cry and shake their heads in shame. Chocolate rain. Lifts the ark of paradise in sin. Chocolate rain. Which part do you think you're livin' in? Chocolate rain. More than marchin', more than passing law. Chocolate rain. Remake how we got to where we are. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again.

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.

when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...

What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.

In jail, why is the white guy scarier than the black guy? Because the white guy actually did something.

Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?

The white guy actually did it.

What's a prisoner's favorite game?

Hangman!

I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.

Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.

What do you call a Mexican's prison?

The border.

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.

But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!

Did you hear about the bank robber?

Turns out he got shot by the police.

And he wound up in prison.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because these jokes are not funny.

Here's why the chicken crossed the road...

The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.

The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.

The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)

I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."

What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?

A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?

Because he is in a prison cell.

In 2016, Americans took "Orange is the New Black" to a whole other level.

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.