Prison jokes
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
I'd hit you, but if I did, I'd go to jail for animal abuse.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
One thing about disabled people is they never set foot in prison.
The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...
"Don't let your guard down."
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!
Why did the orphan go to jail? Because he could finally have a home.
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!