Me: Hey wanna know my spirit animal
Friend: Sure
Me: Road kill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead
Me: Aren't you my son
Friend: So that's what mom was trying to hide from me
I don’t know why people don’t say Cobain because I’m pretty sure Kirk Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did
Do you wanna eat make up cause ur not pretty in the inside
She’s got 20 dudes in her DM’s telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine ro do this.
I think if the center of the earth froze, it'd be pretty hard core.
To you, Iron man may seem cool or awesome. But to me, he is pretty ironic.
I was with my friend atom the other day he’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you
Didja hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint? My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
I gave my sister and compliment and say she's pretty than while she was saying thanks I said pretty ugly.
Me: you are pretty her: thanks me: pretty ugly
Call me fat you call me fat because you think that you’re pretty but you ain’t you’re just a musty dusty rusty Cardi B
Me: you have pretty eyes Her: thank you Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
I've started playing the triangle for a reggae band. It's pretty casual.
I just stand at the back and ting.
Met the emo kid today he was pretty chill he was just hanging out
You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You looks like if sweatpants were a person.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls, A Roll model
Um honey I'm glad your done but um WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I"M PRETTY SURE FACES DON"T BEND THAT WAY!!
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys 😊😇
