Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubbas two best friends the three were inseparable agreed.. The first friend said hard to tell can you turn him over the coroner look perplexed but did so nope that's not Bubba. The second friend said he's burnt up pretty bad can you roll him over again the coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway, nope that's not him. Pretty confused the coroner asked how can you tell its not him by rolling him over? well you see Bubba had two assholes, Impossible the coroner replied. The friends said I don't know but everytime we went to town everyone would say here comes Bubba with them to assholes.
Say Hey your pretty then she'll say omg thank you so much or something cringe then you say pretty f ing ugly aha gottie
if your an orphan it must be pretty hard taking "your mom" jokes
What does the dead man say to the other he says:your daughter is pretty. The other man says:how do you know? The other man says:because she is dead.
A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something, a guy walks up to him and says "Whats wrong pal?, don't worry it's not like your on a abandoned Isle!"
9/11 was pretty great to me, it's just hilarious to watch people lose at jenga
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
So I was in the bathroom at school washing and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like "hey can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like sure and I was like come here and so she came over to me I was like girl look at ur self in the mirror and she started laughing so hard and she said I'm so ugly.
" can i tell you a paper joke" i said "but it is pretty terrible"
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
What do you call a redhead in a fridge. I ́m pretty sure her name was Kelly.
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urnel......Later on I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because well he probably had to go but yeah he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urnel so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part
<img src="http://media.syracuse.com/news/photo/2016/08/03/boeing-c-32bjpg-ba41bd1bac5ece9c.jpg" alt="Image result for a white plane"/> i guess this is pretty plane i am sorry i am just winging it wow i guess these jokes haven't taken of Wow i just landed that one
Me: Hey you trashy pig woman go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you Belong. Trashy Pig woman: why Because you smell like fart and your pretty much just a Turd with Lips.
I'm pretty sure that "MOI MOI" means "ME! ME!" does it?
my dad has a pretty shity job
yo mama so pretty ? she could get in a car crash because boys"are staring at her
did you hear about the guy that diped his balls in glitter. pretty nuts huh?
roses are red,vilots are blue,i tell you you look pretty,but all you do is look like a poo
