Prettiness jokes

Sex is like pizza.

When it’s hot, it’s great.

When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?

What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?

He said he was awfully touched!

If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.

You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.

A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.

A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.

BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.

NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.

A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.

"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"

"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.

"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"

"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.

"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."

Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.

I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!

I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.

I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

Popular girl: Sorry I'm late.

Teacher: Why are you late!

Girl: I need my beauty sleep.

Nerd: Well, you might need to hibernate because you ain't pretty.

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.

We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.

I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.

Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.

I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.