What did one toilet say to the other ?
You look pretty flushed.
The real dead hooked joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC, you know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker Pork. Concidering it stretching from the 80's-2000's pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton Pork.
Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round? A frog in a blender (this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended) What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? One can support an average family
So a girl says your so ugly to me and she says “I’m the prettiest girl” I say “yea a pretty girl for a ogre 👹”
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. they are actually pretty funny. and i will show you y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
Orphans and pretty tough I mean you never see them running home...
Roses are red Violets are blue God made me pretty WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish Son: That’s too baaaaaad
My Jokes Are Pretty Bone-arifick if i say so my self Hehhehe...Get it?
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
if satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him. I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
I was a orphan as a kid and Im pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids I think we know why
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): How are you doing? Me, an autist: Pretty bad honestly. Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
Guy starts chatting to pretty woman at a party Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,
"Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself, she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick
2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.
5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Some people say I'm rude but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I seen this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were I just love looking at an orphanage
