John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
President Jokes
Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”
“I still don't get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!"
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
What would you call the previous president when he is having a bad day?
Donald Grump.
Best political joke... Joe Biden.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
We're skipping April Fools' Day this year. The biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country.
WWG1WGA.
Trump 2024!
Trump's coming back.
Yes, yes~.
Trump's coming back!
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?
My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.
-JFK
JFK's wife trying to grab his head be like "him in heaven." Why did I marrei her? Welp, time for a devorsin'.
Texans: Don't mess with Texas.
*snows 1 inch*
Texans: Please help us, President Biden!
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.
Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!
Why can't Biden play chess?
Because he doesn't have the towers.
Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.