Predator jokes
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
They're both predators.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
Why was the cheetah so bad at hide and seek?
No matter where she hid, she was always spotted.
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Why did the octopus 🐙 beat the shark in a fight?
Because he was well armed!
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.
What did the snake say to the mouse? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.
Alen vs. Predator.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.