Potato jokes

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

Die you potato.

I baked you a pie.

Oh boy, which flavor?

Pie Pie Pie Pie.

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi hungry, I'm dad.

Why did you name this way?

Why Why Why?

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!

I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?

About 140 calories.

If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?

A "retiree."

What do you call a red potato?

A tomato. 🍅

(I know it's cringe!)

How many potatoes to feed the elephant?

What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.

What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?

A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.

What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!

In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.

The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.

The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.

The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.

So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.

How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.

What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

About 140 calories.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!

Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.

Do you know Ligma... potatoes?

What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.